The Abused can become Abusers if they Don't Forgive

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The Abused can become Abusers if they Don't Forgive




Very often, people who abuse others have been abused themselves


The Bible says "do unto others as you would have them do unto you"

It doesn't say "do to others what they do to you!"

Yet, so often this is exactly what happens


"Vengeance is mine" says the Lord


"Turn the other cheek" is easy to say but hard to do


Unless we forgive people who have hurt us, God cannot take away our pain

When we are hurting, we can become insensitive to other's needs

Sometimes we end up taking it out on somebody else - but this just causes guilt in addition to our pain


It is very hard to forgive others when we see ourselves as innocent or perfect

Yet almost always, when a child is abused they have done nothing wrong

How then can they forgive?

Who can take away their pain?


When a child is abused and the abuser is not punished or gets away with it, the child may think that this is acceptable behaviour and start doing it to others

Sometimes when children have been naughty or have flirted with the abuser, they think that they are to blame

these behaviours may need to be corrected but they do not justify abuse


We cannot accept abuse - it must be rejected punished and compensated

Jesus did this when he died on the cross


The Bible tells us that no man, not even one, is without Sin

While sin means to disobey God, when we disobey God, we always end up abusing somebody, even if it is ourselves

If we can see ourselves as sinners and allow God to forgive us, often God will give us the strength to forgive others

When we fail to see that we are not perfect and that we need God's mercy and grace

we become quick to judge and condemn others


It is hard to forgive somebody who is continuing to abuse us

first we must stop the abuse from happening

this often means getting help from others


Self centeredness often leads us to ignore the needs of others

 Pain sometimes leads to revengeful or abusive behaviors

Sometimes we become so desensitized to pain that we don't realize when we are hurting others

Sometimes we are so filled with hatred that we deliberately abuse others


When we are abused, the tendency is to abuse others

When we are loved, the tendency is to love others


While women cannot rape a man physically, women can be very cruel to men

It is very hard to be attracted to something that causes pain

In an age when sexual abuse is rampant, it is no wonder some men and women are giving up having sexual relations with the opposite sex

If the first sexual experiences with the opposite sex are extremely painful and negative, there may not be a second


Pain not only causes us to avoid certain situations, it can cause us to hurt others

Pain leads to fear and hatred

Fear can cause us to do some awful things


The relationship between abusers and the abused is not much different from that between the chicken and the egg

What comes first?

In reality, it doesn't really matter because, in our lives, this cycle is repeated over and over and over unless we learn to forgive


demons attack us when we don't forgive


The Wicked will continue to be Wicked

I cannot help Myself

If your Brother Repents, Forgive Him

Forgiveness is as much for the Abuser as it is for the Abused

The Abused can become Abusers if they Don't Forgive

Forgive or you won't be Forgiven

You are possessed by the one you Love

God will Give you the desires of your heart